The Harry Potter Journals
by Dawrnit
Summary: The journals of the Harry Potter gang! Read about Harry's scar, Draco's hair gel, Hermione's hair, and more! "Mother got mad at me and mad me hug Dobby. I smell like house elf now. Gross."-from the journal of Draco Malfoy On hiatus.
1. Harry Potter: Part One

**Disclaimer: **Blah blah, I don't own anything besides what doesn't make sense. This applies to the whole darned story. I was inspired by C. Claire's hilarious, amazing, fantastic _The Very Secret Diaries of Middle Earth_ series. Enjoy!

**June 23, 1991**

Stupid fat turd Dudley. Getting me in trouble and locked in this stupid cupboard again. His fat arse probably swallowed the stupid glass when no one was looking.

Too bad the snake didn't bite him.

Blast.

Ah, it'll be fine. He'll probably die of heart failure one day anyway.

My scar itches.

**July 6, 1991**

Dudley didn't explode. That makes me sad.

Still in stupid cupboard.

**July 24, 1991**

A letter came for me, how strange. Stupid Dursley's burned it though. But oh well, I got out of the stupid cupboard! Whoo!!!

Scar tickled when I found randy magazines under Dudley's old bed.

**July 25, 1991**

Another letter came. Idiot uncle Vernon burned it first.

Grr, it makes the scar mad.

**July 26, 1991**

Woke up at six to get mail before Vernon does. He slept in the hall and caught me. Three more arrived.

**July 27, 1991**

Twelve letters came. Vernon's paranoid now. He's boarded up all cracks by the windows and doors. I hope he goes completely mad.

I want one of those damn letters.

Maybe my scar will start shouting out laser beams at them. That'd be cool. Pew pew!

**July 28, 1991**

Twenty four letters came through the egg cartons. Petunia shredded them in the food processor. I hope she forgets to wash it out and eats it.

**July 29, 1991**

More letters arriving. Maybe thirty or came pouring through the chimney. I'm not really sure. I'm not that good at math. It was pretty cool, like something from a Star Wars movie.

Vernon's started frothing at the mouth and now we're spending the night at some crummy hotel.

I kinda hope he doesn't go completely go mad.

**July 30, 1991**

At least a hundred letters came for me at the front desk today. Vernon drove us to some stupid hut on a rock called the "Hut On The Rock." There's a big storm outside now.

It's almost my birthday! In 10, 9, 8, 7, 6....

**July 31, 1991**

Big, hairy giant named Hagrid burst through door last night with his super duper umbrella wand thing. He gave me the letter.

Guess what? I'm a wizard! The whole magical load of stuff and all! I've been invited to go to some school called Hoggywarts. Hogwarts is a stupid sounding name.

Hagrid took me to this cool wizard town called Diagon Alley to buy stuff for Hoggywarts. Met some stuck up kid at the clothes store. His name was Dragon, or something like that. He insulted Hagrid. What a meanie.

Even if he has cool looking helmet space astronaut hair.


	2. Draco Malfoy: Part One

**June 29, 1991**

Father had some people over in black robes again. I tried to listen to what they were saying but he got mad at me. He took away one of my hair gel tubs. What a jerk face.

**June 30, 1991**

I have devised a way to get hair gel tub back. When father meets with other guys in black tomorrow, I'll go get it. I bet he hid it under mother and his bed.

**July 1, 1991**

Have not attempted plot yet and therefore have not retrieved hair gel. Codswallop.

**July 2, 1991**

Attempted plot. Failed. Mother got mad at me and mad me hug Dobby. I smell like house elf now. Gross.

**July 14, 1991**

HAIR GEL TUB IS BACK!!! BWAHAHAHA! Oh no, must maintain composure. That was very un-Malfoyish of me.

Ahem, correction: I have successfully procured my hair gel.

**July 17, 1991**

Father found out today that I stole the hair gel back. I got punished for not being sneaky enough. He said that he shouldn't have been able to find out about it for at least a week.

Punishment: Cursed with a tanning spell for three days.

**July 18, 1991**

I MISS MY PALE SKIN!! THE TANNESS CLASHES WITH MY HAIR!!!

**July 20, 1991**

I am back to normal now. I really don't like tan skin on me. It makes me less dashing.

Those black robed people are back again. I don't know if I like them or not. Father told me if I didn't behave, I wouldn't get any hair gel for Hogwarts.

**July 24, 1991**

Got my Hogwarts letter today. Father told me if I didn't get into Slytherin, I'd get the worse punishment ever.

He said he'd shave my hair off.

It's a really good thing that I'm very Slytheriny. That's what mother always tells me.

**July 31, 1991**

Went to Diagon Alley today with father. I met some kid with ugly hair and tried to be friends. My hair is much better. Stupid bint refused me. How dare he refuse the Malfoy name! Vengeance will be mine. Rawr!

The new robes fit quite nicely on me.


	3. Hermione Granger: Part One

**July 1, 1991**

I really have no time to do something as wasteful and useless as writing in a stupid little book about emotions, but Mum's become absolutely fascinated with some American talk show called Oprah.

Yesterday's episode was about children and how they needed healthy outlets for their feelings so Mum went out and bout me this journal. Cunning woman guilt tripped me into writing in this.

I really should be studying instead. But then I'd feel bad about having her waste money on this.

My hair is bothering me. It makes my face itch.

**July 2, 1991**

Still studying, after all, I'm to begin secondary school this September.

I'm thinking of going bald, the hair is really bothersome.

**July 5, 1991**

Daddy and I went to the library this afternoon and he brought me to the park after. What a silly notion, I should be preparing as much as I can. He's starting to think I'm taking school too seriously.

There is no greater pursuit than that of knowledge.

**July 11, 1991**

The neighbor's little boy started pulling on my hair again. I'm seriously contemplating going bald. Then he started sinking into the ground. What a strange phenomena.

I wonder if this has anything to do with the lunar eclipse the night before.

**July 17, 1991**

When I went with Mum to the mall today, the queerest thing occurred. The large novel I wanted on the top of the shelf floated down to me. I think that the air vents must be really strong in there.

That musn't be in accord with construction standards.

**July 19, 1991**

Strange happenings keep taking place around me. I wanted chocolate, and it showed up in the fridge. I thought my parents had bought it, but they were confused where it came from as well.

I need to research these strange events.

**July 20, 1991**

My research has led me to two conclusions. Either I happen to possess supernatural powers, or the lunar eclipse is affecting many properties of physics and whatnot.

It must be the lunar eclipse. The supernatural is impossible.

I've started studying Algebra II.

**July 21, 1991**

Hair was too irritating. I am now bald. Mum doesn't know yet.

**July 22, 1991**

Mum knows. Bad, bad choice.

The neighbor's boy made fun of me for being bald. Said I look like a Siberian monk. He's very misinformed, for I look nothing like them. He now sports a black eye.

I'm kinda regretting going bald. I stick out to easily in a crowd now.

I really want my hair back.

**July 23, 1991**

I just woke up two hours ago, and to my surprise, all my hair is back! Mum and Daddy are scared. We're going to the doctor's now.

It's extremely inexplicable.

**July 25, 1991**

A strangely dressed lady named Minerva McGonagall came by today. Apparently, I'm a witch! Rather mind boggling in my opinion. This completely defies everything I've ever learned. I'll be attending a school named Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Mum and Daddy were in complete disbelief at first. But after McGonagall changed into a cat, they believed her. After thinking about all the strange things that happened around me in the past, it's not too hard too believe. You just have to think hard enough.

I'm excited! Hopefully, I'll fit in more with peers there than I do here with non-magical folk. Hmm, I think the term she used was "Muggles." She'll be taking our family to some magical place called Diagon Alley to purchase my supplies tomorrow.

I liked her pointy hat.

**July 26, 1991**

Diagon Alley is magical. I really can't describe such an amazing place with so few words. The only downside was that some people gave my parents and me nasty stares. That was rather rude. But overall, it was enchanting!

I've purchased so many books that I simply must get to.

My hair's becoming irritating with it's foofiness again.


End file.
